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Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelinblindfolded? A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.Q. What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawn mower.Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust fordirections: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tunebagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate youhave been hallucinating.Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato.Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.Q. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road anddead bagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in front of the snake.Q. What’s the difference between a dead bagpiper in the roadand a dead country singer in the road? A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recordingsession.Q. What’s the range of a bagpipe? A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.Q. Why are bagpipers. So for now, I could live with the small things.Connor laughed when I walked out - we matched, sort of. He wore black jeans and a long-sleeved black button up; I wore black jeans and a black sweatshirt. We looked like we were going to a casual funeral.He brought his car today; he'd told me that the Hum-Vee was really Davis' car but he was more inclined to run people over in the mornings, which is why Connor drove. I turned and locked the door, making sure I had my phone and he was already in the car.It looked even more beautiful in the sunlight, the flames almost dancing as I opened the door and sunk in. The windows were tinted almost black so it was rather dim inside, though I could make out something in the back seat.He drove casually until we hit the highway, then he floored it. We listened to his music as we flew passed the sleeping countryside, discussing our favorite bands as well as ones we hated. Roughly an hour later, he pulled into a little picnic area."Are we there yet?" I.
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